The Fiend [Cry x Reader Crack Fanfic]

It's the first snowfall and the first damn thing I see is Cry breathing on my window again.  This happens every freaking time it snows, because he then likes to draw profanities in the fogged up glass, and laughs when I finally let him in.  I just cross my arms and huff at him, rolling my eyes, before he pokes my cheek chuckling, "You know you love me."  He then goes and raids my kitchen of all Nutella, the fiend.  

~~~Here, have a time skip *throws it at your face and runs*~~~  

This morning when I arrive at gym class after gathering various survival supplies (a.k.a. my Physics books and purse) from my locker, everyone is lazing around on the bleachers or on the floor, like every other morning.  Yep, in gym class, the first twenty minutes is spent just sitting there talking with your friends.  So I go get changed into shorts, a t-shirt, and sneakers, then make my way over to my usual place on the floor in front of the bleachers where Toby sits, along with Cry who sits next to me, and Felix next to him.  We're all just talking about our new favorite games, which generally change every other week, when suddenly Cry pulls Felix onto his lap then asks me to sit criss-cross applesauce.  

I give him a weird look, but comply, and he moves in front of me, then leans back, resting against me, his head on my chest.  He closes his eyes and lets out a sigh as I blush lightly, my heart rate choosing now of all times to pick up, when he can actually feel it.  But then, he ruins the moment by saying, "Thanks [nickname], your boobs are really comfy, like pillows.  And Felix, you make a superb blanky."  Toby watches with raised eyebrows until my [e/c] meet his hazel and I give a small shrug and chuckle as my face burns.  He lets out a huff as Felix laughs and bumps fists when Cry lazily raises his hand for a bro fist.  

After that, I push Cry off and stand, but he rises with me, and then, without further ado, gropes my boob, slaps my butt, and runs away cackling when the whistle blows just in time to save his worthless little life.  We do stretches for maybe five minutes tops, then the gym teachers glance outside, say, "We're running on the track.  Today is the timed mile run."  Everyone groans and prepares for the cold and torture of exercise.  What the hell are we going out for anyway?  It's freaking blizzarding out there!  But out we go anyways, me sandwiched between my three best friends.  We start running as soon as our feet hit the track (or what might be the track…  No one can really see it).  After a single lap, I'm already out of breath.  But I must carry on!  I lower my fist though when I notice people giving me weird looks.  But then - out of the blue - a bunch of worms just start inching their way across our path!  Like, one second all you could see is white, and then BAM!  It's a worm stampede, right under your feet.  Boys start throwing worms and girls start shrieking and squealing, as my friends just continue, maybe grimacing slightly.  

But in all the confusion, one of the biggest bullies ever runs up to my unsuspecting Felix and screams right in his ear, "HATERS GONNA' HATE!"  The poor boy freaks out, and then punches me square in the stomach.  I double over, right in front of the gym teachers, where they stand not even shivering - as if in their own bubble of evil warmth - when Mr. D. notices.  And when he does, he jogs to my side, then shouts in my ear, "[L/n], kiddo, are you okay?!"  

"Just peachy," I reply through gritted teeth.  And without further ado, Cry throws back his head, letting out a manly screech, before proclaiming, "This is bullshit!!!" Before taking me into his arms and flying away into the clouds.

The end?